Brushing English up even now
Even after 2 years passed since I came to U.S., or even forever if I will stay in this country, I still/always need to improve this disgusting inability in English. But now particularly when I have an exam next week called IELTS, International English Language Testing System for applying some graduate schools that don't accept TOEFL which is more common, I've began working out English intensively again. So later on, I might occasionally post some short, boring essays as outcomes of my practice, but just ignore them and only who get interested in correcting grammatical/representational mistakes, give me comments which I would really appreciate so that I buy you a lunch, dinner at better than Panda Express :). Remember, those are timed writing, and I keep them as what I finish within the designated time.
Essays on sample questions from IELTS official web site.
Essay 1. 728-748AM
The ratio of car usage is obviously increasing during these 40 years. Between the year 1960 and 1980, it jumps up from about 7 percent to about 25 which is more than triple. And in 2000, about 12.5 percent increased from 1980 and it makes approximately 37.5 percent and it increases about 30 percent as a total from 1960 and five times multiple.
In 1960, the ratio of car is at the lowest among all four transports. The most common mode is foot which is 35 percent, then bike is 27.5 percent, bus 20 percent and car., but it climbs up to second in 1980 next to bus, and in 2000 car is at the top. Car in 1960 and foot in 2000 are almost the same at around 7.5 to 10 percent, and on the contrary, car in 2000 and foot in 1960 is around 35 to 37.5 percent. Ignoring small difference such as 2.5 percent, I can conclude that the ratio of car and foot exchanges from 1960 to 2000, and now car takes the role that foot was taking in 1960.
(185 words)
Essay 2. 800-840AM
Although I am not sure if it has been a nature of human being, I assume we've always felt sad to some extent when we recognize a tradition is being lost. We even feel sorry especially when it is taken place by emmerging new technology which delivers far greater convenience, functionality unexpectable in the tradional way of doing. We miss the good old days of posting mails and waiting responses for several days/weeks when e-mail takes place of it. However, a tradition also tends to be based upon the state-of-the-art technology at the era, and we have taken advantage of the new tradition created by mixing the old tradition and the new technology. So my opinion to the question is, I agree we cannot have both together, but I disagree with the idea that the traditional culture gets lost by technology. I would rather say the culture is reborn.
Speaking of mail, I imagine the historical evolution of mail and the technology being used to develop the evolution. Mail used to be delivered by postmen walking all the way from the post office to each destination. At that time, a postman must have been known as a person who was familiar to people and events in a region. Afterward, according to the technology development of transports, the way postmen deliver mails have been changing. There barely exists postmen who still walk only on foot, instead they use bikes and cars. As the time they take for moving between destinations has decreased because of faster transports, the relationship between people and postmen has also become distant. So it can be said that a culture was lost, but on the other hand a new culture such as fast communication, is established. (292 words)
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| Chao-mien at "Panda Express" at UT-Arlington. Since Panda was the only place I can buy non-American meal at the school (now we also have Americanized-Sushi place though), I always bought there when I need food on campus. When I first saw women eat this much, I just "wow"ed, but now settled down... |
Essays on sample questions from IELTS official web site.
Essay 1. 728-748AM
Writing Task 1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task
The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Graph Example
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
The ratio of car usage is obviously increasing during these 40 years. Between the year 1960 and 1980, it jumps up from about 7 percent to about 25 which is more than triple. And in 2000, about 12.5 percent increased from 1980 and it makes approximately 37.5 percent and it increases about 30 percent as a total from 1960 and five times multiple.
In 1960, the ratio of car is at the lowest among all four transports. The most common mode is foot which is 35 percent, then bike is 27.5 percent, bus 20 percent and car., but it climbs up to second in 1980 next to bus, and in 2000 car is at the top. Car in 1960 and foot in 2000 are almost the same at around 7.5 to 10 percent, and on the contrary, car in 2000 and foot in 1960 is around 35 to 37.5 percent. Ignoring small difference such as 2.5 percent, I can conclude that the ratio of car and foot exchanges from 1960 to 2000, and now car takes the role that foot was taking in 1960.
(185 words)
Essay 2. 800-840AM
Writing Task 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
It is inevitable that as technology develops so traditional cultures must be lost. Technology and tradition are incompatible - you cannot have both together.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Although I am not sure if it has been a nature of human being, I assume we've always felt sad to some extent when we recognize a tradition is being lost. We even feel sorry especially when it is taken place by emmerging new technology which delivers far greater convenience, functionality unexpectable in the tradional way of doing. We miss the good old days of posting mails and waiting responses for several days/weeks when e-mail takes place of it. However, a tradition also tends to be based upon the state-of-the-art technology at the era, and we have taken advantage of the new tradition created by mixing the old tradition and the new technology. So my opinion to the question is, I agree we cannot have both together, but I disagree with the idea that the traditional culture gets lost by technology. I would rather say the culture is reborn.
Speaking of mail, I imagine the historical evolution of mail and the technology being used to develop the evolution. Mail used to be delivered by postmen walking all the way from the post office to each destination. At that time, a postman must have been known as a person who was familiar to people and events in a region. Afterward, according to the technology development of transports, the way postmen deliver mails have been changing. There barely exists postmen who still walk only on foot, instead they use bikes and cars. As the time they take for moving between destinations has decreased because of faster transports, the relationship between people and postmen has also become distant. So it can be said that a culture was lost, but on the other hand a new culture such as fast communication, is established. (292 words)
Comments
In general, you can reduce your "indirect expression" in English. If you like to communicate in English effectively, more direct expressions are better than Japanese nuanced, ambiguous ones.
I am Japanese so I also make mistakes in English. I hope you can make progress on your study and English. I got a phd in physics so good luck on yours. Getting a phd in engineering and science is much, much more difficult than MBA and other professional degrees. So do not be fooled by experiences of these people. These professional degrees always end with happy ending since they pay their tuition. But a Phd is normally paid for their research and consequently one will get easily fired.
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The ratio of car is obviously increasing during these 40 years.
The ratio of driving for commuting clearly increased during these 40 years. ("obviously" has a subtle ironical twist.)
In a graph or title, "car" and "foot" can be used as exceptional cases without "a","s" or "the". But in a text, you need to use something different expressions.
car=driving
foot=walking
bus=bus ride
bike=biking
>Although I am not sure if it has been a nature of human being, I assume we've always felt sad to some extent when we recognize a tradition is being lost.
This might be a part of human nature but we feel sad when we see a familiar tradition is being lost.
>Ignoring small difference such as 2.5 percent, I can conclude that the ratio of car and foot exchanges from 1960 to 2000, and now car takes the
role that foot was taking in 1960.
Ignoring small difference of 2.5 percent, I conclude/see that the ratio of driving and walking switched from 1960 to 2000, and now driving takes the predominant role that walking took in 1960.